In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
