I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
