OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
there is glitter all over my balls
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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