You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
