conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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