i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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