i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
