First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
