Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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