Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Its about making memories worth repressing
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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