look no pants
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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