just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
