There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Operation Purity has been aborted
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Shame - the story of my life.
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