I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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