If that was your dad, he is hot
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
