yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
