Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
