spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
