p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
what day is it and did you see me today?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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