i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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