I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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