i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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