i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
