Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
