you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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