Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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