The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
