My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
