Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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