Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i think i just lost a toe
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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