She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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