i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Pooping to opera.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
