oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
