Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
