Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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