Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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