your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
