He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dicks are not precious.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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