it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
farters have to be the big spoon...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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