I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
