Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
