Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
