I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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