lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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