Its about making memories worth repressing
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
