he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
