nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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