A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
