Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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