Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
