haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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