Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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