So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
