I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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