SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You're like the curious george of whores
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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